At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
