I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
