all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she looked like the before picture.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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