Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
