woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
