remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
