your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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