I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
