weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
