I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
