i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
