So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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