your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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