kristin has been a bad kristin
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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