you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
