my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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