Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
