Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
