Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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