If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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