Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
