You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
