You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
