Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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