hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
