It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize