I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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