grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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