there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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