They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
