i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
