Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
