I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
