I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
