omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
