I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
