I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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