Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"