hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.