Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.