just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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