and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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