I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
