i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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