I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
