she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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