I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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