my vag is so smooth its legendary
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
