Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
