drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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