I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The adults are the big ones right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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