Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
