apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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