It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
